A very official communication from CAPD

[Susan Popham]

Afternoon, good people. Interesting place, this. You better hide that weed, you.

Ahem. As a duly appointed representative of the Crew Avenue Police Department, Town and Government of Foulkes Village, District SW-4 in the City of Malton, I'm hereby delivering an official rebuke to you all, along with our orders for you. Please read carefully and take measures to ensure compliance at your earliest convenience.

You are to cease and desist any further disruption of the peace in this area. Further on, as a service to the community, you are to stock up on NecroTech syringes and provide revives for the general public at the following locations: Greenleaves Alley, Ruddlebank; and Fyfhyde Plaza, Foulkes Village. Alternatively, you may choose to (1) upkeep barricades at the proper designated level in buildings at your discretion, and/or (2) supply generators and petrol to tactical resource points in the area. Finally, you are to report weekly to either me or other senior CAPD Officers, so we can follow up on your rehabilitation.

Or else.

(Haha. But srsly, just saying hi here. Oh I might as well extend you all an invitation to drop by the CAPD forum sometime, should you fancy banter, taunts and doughnuts. Hugs & kisses. --Suze)

[Arkham Pete]

Made some small improvements.

You are to further disrupt the peace and generators in this area. Further on, you are to stock up on revives at the following locations: Greenleaves Alley, Ruddlebank; and Fyfhyde Plaza, Foulkes Village. Alternatively, you may choose to supply petrol to senior CAPD Officers.

I can't speak for anyone but me. However, I accept the modified terms.

[SiuJin Weasel]

Welcome Susan.

We'd like to follow your offer, but we first have to do some other things to help survivors. For instance, Tikhon Hospital is constantly overcaded and squatted by EHBitches. In order to provide newbies a guaranteed entry point and easy access to FAKs, we need to ruin it.

Think always of the newbs. They are this game's future, and they have no friends in the SW but us.

[Arkham Pete]

Jan 30, 2011 14:27:24 GMT SiuJin Weasel said:

We'd like to follow your offer, but we first have to do some other things to help survivors.

I've also noticed a large number of RP killers in the SW.

[SiuJin Weasel]

And PKers. Nasty PKers who kill poor hapless newbs under Level 10. (That is me!)

You really need to crack down on PKing and bounty those PKers. Where are the cops when you need them?

[Susan Popham]

It is not an offer, Weasel. And it'll be "else" I take. Fairy snuff.

What are those "bounties" you speak of? We don't cater to any private-sector vendetta scheme, we do civilised law enforcement around these parts. This is not anarchy.

The cops were busy sorting a patch of bother at Puckard Bank, I'm afraid, terribly sorry for keeping you waiting. There's only so many perps we can bust in a day. You alright, Paddy, me old mucker? We didn't dampen your spirits much, I hope?

We'll be back with you all momentarily.



PS. Oi give us a mugshot already, Pete! I bet you have pretty eyes.

[Arkham Pete]

Jan 30, 2011 20:47:20 GMT Susan Popham said:

PS. Oi give us a mugshot already, Pete! I bet you have pretty eyes.

<<<<<<<<<<<<3333333333333333

[Susan Popham]

Hahahahaha XD

/me swoons ^_^

[SiuJin Weasel]

In other news, is CAPD ever updating their DNR list?

We've been the leading pro-zombie group in the SW corner for a while now, and we still aren't on it

[Susan Popham]

Blimey! Right you are, m'am, frightfully sorry about that. I'll go poke Officer Michaleson, see if he can be arsed to add a listing for you now.

I beg you forgive this oversight. It's not as if you've been much of threat or anything, but you're bloody well scarier than Cobra and even they have a listing there.

On the subject of complaints, here, have a butchers:
iamscott.net/1296257486801.html

Now I ask you, you know what those people there be saying now, quite likely? "Oh-ho, we'll see how much of a sweet sod we'll give next time that bird shows up here crying wolf". That's what. I mean come on! One generator, Pete, one! Good grief.

Erm. Not that I'm actually suggesting you should come to CAPD and pick a proper fight there. Far be that from me. I can't very well do that, now can I? What with me supposedly upholding Law an Order, not taunting criminals to go pull shenanigans on the homeland. But... well, have a heart, will you? Do a token something, anything. Ffs, my rep as a big mouth is already low enough.

EDIT: Oi, Paddy lad, what you say, Puckard Bank tonight yet again? Can we call it a date? :D

[Arkham Pete]

Happy Birthday (so says the forum) Susan.

I'll see if I can't swing by and help you blow out those candles at CAPD.

edit: But first I'll have to see if anyone was listening about not reviving us at your unpronounceable RP.

[Susan Popham]

Thank you! On both counts :D

Call it "Fyfe". Works for us :)